By John Zakour
John Zakour is a humor author with a Master's measure in Human habit. He writes the syndicated comedian "Working Daze" and has written a SF trilogy for Daw books. John is living in Geneva, long island.
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Additional info for A Man's Guide to Pregnancy: How to live with a Pregnant Person (and get out of it alive)
Breasts: what you and the baby will be competing over for a while. Cervix: chances are if you are reading this book you already know this one. Cesarean birth: just be glad you’re a man. Colostrum: it looks kind of gross, but never tell your wife this. 44 Contractions: the things that hurt. Craving: really, really, longing to eat something that seems really, really, bizarre to a non-pregnant person. Crib: the thing you’ll be spending most of your nights awake beside. Death threats: you may get a couple of these from your wife through the course of labor.
They give you this priceless kind of unconditional love that is even more special than that you get from your dog. It’s true. (Of course this will get balanced out in the future when no matter what you do they will think you are a total jerk. ) Second off, there are things you can do to help your wife and child: Learn to change diapers. Modern diapers are pretty much a snap to take off and put on. Plus, if your baby is breast-feeding they (the diapers) don’t even stink. Believe me, changing a diaper is a great 39 way to help out, without really going too far out of your way.
14) “Yes, dear, I’m scum. ” 16) “Yes, dear, I’m scum. ” 18) “Yes, dear, I’m scum. ” 19) “No, dear. ” 36 Finally, after an amount of time that seems at least ten times as long as it really was, your wife will be pretty much dilated and all tuckered out, which means the doctors and nurses will roll her into a delivery room as now she’s safe to deal with. This part of the birth will be the exact opposite of the first. There will be plenty of people around to help you and it will go faster than you can believe.
A Man's Guide to Pregnancy: How to live with a Pregnant Person (and get out of it alive) by John Zakour